We Need a Distraction
by Bakaperson
Summary: This popped up while under the influence of Mountain Dew soooo it's random and funny. What does Quatre do when the G-boys need a distraction to set up a few bombs? Oh and serious OOC In now do I own anything gundam, just these words.


"We need a distraction!" Trowa hissed to his indigo eyed friend as they looked at the situation before them.

"Well, what can we do?" Duo looked over his shoulder at the banged boy.

"We can…Uhhh…I don't know?" Trowa looks honestly confused as he looked over Duo's head and into the crowded room full of people that needed to die by this evening or else.

"I have an idea!" Duo whispered and Trowa looked at him expectantly. "Light your pants on fire and run through the crowd!" Trowa's visible eye widened in horror.

"Are you insane?! I'm not lighting my pants on fire!" Trowa hissed as a few people in suits walked by the plants they were hiding behind.

"Well, it's a distraction!" Duo hissed back. "You asked and I suggested!" Duo 'humphed' and looked around for something to distract the crowd while they planted the explosives around the room.

Meanwhile, in a van outside, Quatre and Heero were listening to their lovers bicker on their earpieces.

"I win, Duo's dumber then Trowa when it comes to ideas." Quatre said with a smirk. Heero blew a piece of hair out of his eyes and handed over the fifty credits.

"I still say Trowa has more blonde moments then Duo, his are just less noticeable." Heero muttered. Quatre chuckled and looked out the window at the bickering brunettes as they decided where the bombs should be placed and what to do to distract the people.

"Think we should help them some how?" Quatre looked over at Heero who grinned mischievously and nodded. They both got out of the van and walked in where they crept up on their lovers and attacked.

TWENTY MINUETES LATER

Quatre walked onto a stage that had it curtains drawn for the later show but Quatre had something else in mind.

"Ladies, and gentlemen." He called into the microphone to get their attentions. "We have a special session of bidding for you rich people that will surely entertain you greatly, please indulge yourselves because they are rare specimens." He grinned and winked, giving Heero and Wufei, who'd been hiding in the crowd, the signal and they shuffled around the room, pretending to try and get a better look while placing little boxes along the walls.

Quatre disappeared behind the curtains for a few moments and the curtain was drawn back to reveal a brown eyed and haired girl in a flashy maid outfit and knee high boots that clicked as she moved to the center of the stage.

"This beautiful girl, all the way from Persia, will do anything her master asked, and I do mean _anything_." The girls face turned an adorable pink and a few people 'oohed and ahhed' at her beauty. "Do I hear three hundred?" One man raised his hand and shouted the price and Heero glared at the back of his head. "Any higher? You can't go by just one credit a bit though, she can only be with you for so long with the price you plan on paying…" Quatre trailed off and bids came in like wild fire while Duo blushed madly and twiddled with a piece of his loose hair while they shouted prices outragesly high for a prize they wouldn't get.

Duo smiled brightly and everyone became quiet and soon moved to a louder uproar. Soon though, Heero was bursting with fury and jealousy at the thought that his Duo could be bought at all, and Duo was bought.

"Alright, I only heard one higher bid and it was twenty million credits! Anyone going higher?" Quatre head peaked out from the curtain and looked at the lucky girl who was going to get the poor Duo who was blushing madly at the price. "Going once…twice…sold! To that beautiful maiden in the red!" Duo moved offstage to stand by the woman as men oogled poor Duo to no end while Heero tried his best not to shoot them.

"Next up, is a handsome specimen from Peru, ready to do what you please anywhere you want." And with that, Trowa walked onstage, his green eye blue instead and a tight black silk shirt clung to his body and showed lots of muscled torso and tight low riding leather pants clung to his waist and left nothing to the imagination. "Do I hear three hundred?" More shouts were drudged up, mostly of women and a few men while Wufei and Heero planted the last of the bombs on the wall and stood at the back, whistling the pretty girl whistle and trying not to cat call while Trowa blushed a bit and looked down.

"I think Duo's going to get you for putting him up there Yuy." Wufei said holding back a chuckle as a small fight broke out near the stage.

"Aa, but he'll love the present he gets for being good." Heero smiled and Wufei blushed at the thoughts.

"Could you keep it down though? I'd love some sleep that doesn't consist of any Duo thank you very much." Wufei said looking the other way. Heero barked a quick laugh as Quatre's voice came back on, the smile oh so obvious in his voice.

"Could the woman that bout number one and the man who bought number two please come onstage while the other go back to their party? Pleas bring a signed check that better not bounce or we'll be back!" The threat was obvious with the malicious undertone made everyone nod and go back to what they were doing previous the bidding, a few complaining about not getting either of the beauties, the rest talking about them while the man and woman moved to the back and traded with Quatre, who slit both their throats and walked away, wiping the blood on his shoes off on a rag a throwing it over his shoulder.

"My pants lighting idea was much better than this." Duo muttered as he looked at his attire and twiddled with his loose hair again.

"I would almost agree." Trowa said back as they exited to the van and got in the back. Wufei and Heero walked out as well and got in the front seats and pulling away. They held up detonators and clicked the buttons as they turned the corner away from the building that went up in a giant red and yellow explosion that lit up the night sky.

"Well, that was fun. We should try that again sometime, after a bit of fun back at the house." Quatre said, looking at Trowa with a predatory gaze.

"Uhhh, could that wait possibly?" Trowa squeaked and Quatre nodded.

"We cash these checks first, though, I am surprised at what you guys raked in. We wont need money from my accounts any time soon!" Quatre smiled and sat behind Trowa and nuzzling the taller boys neck.

"Wait till we get home before you start that or Trowa's sitting up here." Heero said looking at the two in his rearview mirror. Quatre sighed in defeat and just laid on Trowa's back. After driving for a bit, they stopped and Quatre got out for a moment and returned with a plastic card.

"Now we have fifty-one billion twenty million credits!" Duo and Trowa looked at him in shock.

"We wouldn't need to work to awful hard for money for awhile." Wufei commented as the blonde shut the door and sat in Trowa's lap and Heero pulled away from the always open bank.

.::.::.::.::.

"Alright, we're here." Heero said as he pulled up to the curb in front of their "house"(-coughs- mansion -coughs-). Duo, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei piled out gratefully and moved inside while Heero locked the car and looked around for any peepers. After everyone was inside he went in himself and smiled at Duo who was trying in vainly to pull off the boots and scooped his lover into his arms and carried him upstairs.

"Uhhh…" Duo tried saying as Heero shut the door. "Ahh!" HE squeaked as Heero pounced.

OTHER PARTS OF THE HOUSE

Quatre sat in Trowa's lap in front of the TV while the news talked of their newest completed mission and Quatre grinned up at Trowa who fidgeted a little and blushed as Quatre wiggled. "Let's have some fun shall we?" Wufei decided then it was a good time to leave the room and go upstairs where he heard Duo moaning and crying out.

"AAGH! I LIVE IN A SEX HOUSE! INJUSTICE!" He cried and slammed his door.

Everyone jumped with the outbursts and Heero grinned. "He's just flustered." And got back to his minstrations while Wufei locked himself in the bathroom for the rest of the evening with his ears plugged, reading a long and boring history book until sleep.

OWARI

XD hah! That's what you get when I'm on one helluva Dew high! This idea was shanking me in the ass for the past five hours so I wrote the damn thing. It is contempt, if almost plotless and random! But hey, this is the first one I've friggin finished so far. Several are in the makin.

Have fun and live life like a party!

Bakaperson


End file.
